OSS 117: Lost in Rio (2009)

Holy shit this was as terrible as the first one was awesome.

Don’t watch this steaming pile of garbage.  It’s hard to explain how something this bad was made.  It was so bad it tainted my memory of the first.  Instead of being silly and goofily ignorant, he has become so offensive that it’s hard to differentiate him from the racism, misogyny, prejudice and other general shittiness of the “bad” guys.  Instead of ridiculous peccadilloes, we are treated to more venial and unlikable character traits.  Louise Monot was pretty-ish but so cold, uptight and judgemental and Carlotta makes you jump and yell, “Holy gigantic breasts!”.  The “spy” bits and jokes were there but didn’t save the movie from sucking hard.  The premise was okay but the story itself was horribly written or should I say adapted because it looks like the blame could settle on the novelist and the screenwriters equally.

The only good thing to come out of this one is the realization that I wanted to like it and him despite everything in front of my eyes and ears.  And you realize that’s what happens with a lot of spy movies, you want to enjoy it so you try and gloss over the shitty people, bad writing, terrible acting and stupid stories.  It makes all of my reviews feel like an effort to strain out a gnat while I’m swallowing a camel.  Ignore my discouragement, there are some very good movies made in this genre, it’s just a matter of separating wheat from chaff.

This is one terrible movie.