For Your Height Only For Y’ur Height Only (1981)

I’m conflicted.

On the one hand, it’s a ridiculous Bond clone but on the other hand, it’s just as good as most of the Eurospy trash.

On the one hand, Weng Weng isn’t that great of an actor but on the other, he makes a better effort to attempt karate attacks and shooting stances than most of the knockoff spies of his time.

On the one hand, it’s hard to take a movie about a midget spy seriously and on the other hand, when you watch it, everyone takes it seriously.  Part of it was hard because it felt like an exploitation film where the only draw is the fact that he’s under 3 feet tall.  At times it feels like his fight choreography is mostly crotch shots but Weng actually really shines in the fight sequences.  The acting sequences didn’t go over so well.  I don’t know if they dubbed his voice in or someone else but the “dramatic” scenes were poorly and awkwardly written.

It’s campy and cheesey but only slightly more so than a few canonical Bond movies.  The script is awful and the story can get a little confusing.  The gadgets were great and the body count fantastically high.  The variety of weapons and hand-to-hand combat used kept things fresh.  Fresh enough that the guns looked disturbingly real – I kept wondering if the prop department found it easier to buy real assault rifles instead of finding good fakes.  The voice dubbing was ridiculous and cult-worthy.  One of the best lines came fairly early: “Don’t be a nosy parker Paco!”

If you’re a big spy fan then you should see it at least once.  If you’re a more casual watcher then you can probably skip it.  If you just want the best of the field then this certainly isn’t it.

I will say that it was fascinating to see a movie like this where the protagonist actually runs out of bullets.  Weng ran out twice actually and had to resort to other methods.  Usually they just shoot and shoot and shoot with a revolver until the army of bad guys is dead.

I still don’t understand why she was shot on the beach…


p.s.  Really YouTube?  That’s the scene you have for the embedded player?  Really?

p.p.s.  I’m going to skip the rest of Weng Weng’s filmography but if you want more check out The Impossible Kid.

p.p.p.s.  If anyone else watches this, do you mind keeping track of how many people get killed.  It seemed like a lot…